I've avoided it as long as possible, but alas, I'm going to need a sticky post, there's just way to much otherwise.

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What if I stayed in bed all weekend and read awful Torchwood fanfic and watched all the old, awful episodes?

So I came in to work this morning and turned on my computer only to discover that everything had been deleted. Yes, that includes the survey I've been writing since I fucking got here. My supervisor has no idea wtf to do so basically I'm starting over. :(

Still answering the Turn Left meme:

riorhapsody asked for I just want to know what would have happened if Tom had met a really hot and earnest English major at college in boywives. (from Boywives)

An Anon asked for What would have happened if De'Mar had chosen Tom over Nick? (in a made up universe because I'd never actually written a story where that was an option)

ETA:

nicholasscimeca @demarhamilton and I need get a house here from November to March so we can skip winter. How can we do that? 19 minutes ago from web

♥__♥

So I know fandom is rly busy right now pearl-clutching over Ryan doing coke but I have like something really important to tell you!

allthespoons wrote me Nick/De'Mar commentfic where De'Mar ends up on tour with Nick during the 5o4 Plan days and they're trying to ignore how much they love each other.

I was seriously kicking the air with joy when I read this, you guys. GO READ IT.

I know that they aren't (because contrary to appearances, I'm not really a crazy tinhat) but right now it feels like Nick and De'Mar are trying to cheer me up.

I've been so bummed about Panic and then De'Mar came home from tour (he's been talking about tour ending for fucking EVER :DDDD) and it's been this:

LA, CA.

posted 2 days ago

This Wednesday, my best friend De’Mar and I will be flying to a city we’ve both spent months in…but never together. I will be showing him places he’s never been and vice versa. We are so stoked for this trip as we have never taken a trip like this together. We both have tons of stores and restaurants to check out and a bunch of friends to hang with. Good times. Great times. Quality times.

Welcome home De’Mar! Sick dookie chain! I wish he wore this for real.

nicholasscimeca: I woke up to @demarhamilton walking in the house. Today I will be packing and wrapping up some work stuff. Tomorrow we are headed to LA.

demarhamilton: Home sweet home? Yes only for today.

nicholasscimeca: As I finished packing our flight got cancelled but we got a new one that allows us to sleep in later. Now we're headed to see Brand New. :)

nicholasscimeca: Watching brand new play an amazing show. This is so good. No words to describe this feeling but "I'm 18 again"

In short, I'd just like to say THANK YOU, NICK AND DE'MAR! I know my love, investment and interest in you guys is kind of creepy and borderline not-okay but YOU GUYS ARE CHEERING ME UP LIKE YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE! :DDD

This is basically just me trying to keep track of the Turn Left meme

boweryd asked for What would have happened if Kanye hadn't come to Nick and De'Mar's wedding? - (from the Hipster Wedding universe)

valmontheights asked for What would happen if Tom had been hired as Nick and Demar's wedding photographer and RyanJ insisted on being the videographer? (also from the Hipster Wedding universe)

marskykins asked for Ryan convinces Spencer to leave the Compound with him when things with his father are getting really desperate. Before or after Jon's in the picture, though obviously before Spencer and Jon are married. (from the Boywives universe)

vic_ramsey asked for I want to know what happened if Brendon ran away from the Compound with Patrick. (also Boywives universe)

Will continue updating. It's still open so feel free to jump in. I'm not nearly as busy today as yesterday.

So hey! I'm not going to say I'm better because LOL gonna be in mourning for a while but disengaging from the internet (thanks to everyone who made dickish/condescending posts!) and only dealing with it via emails and txts to riorhapsody and stealstheashes made me a bit saner. Then I spent the entire afternoon/early evening watching ancient episodes of Smallville with Imp and Abby. This was an amazing life plan because nothing can make you sad when EVERYONE on the screen is being some sort of weirdo creepster and you're giggling at it non-stop. (though honestly, if you need to griefmouse at someone my door is always open, email me and we can talk ♥)

Sorry to everyone who left me a prompt thing on the meme and then had me basically ignore it. I had actual work to do at work and a staff meeting and like, the Panic mourning stuff then ate all the remaining time I had. Not to mention it was tough trying to be creative.

I'm currently working on 2 fics where Panic is fairly front and center for Sweet Charity (I didn't forget, SWEAR!) and at this point just want to get to a place where I can write about them all together without getting melancholy/teary.

Now, ( Torchwood: Children of Earth (that means spoilers) )

All in all I'd say Torchwood wasn't bad.

Panic, It is incredibly bad form to pull this shit while I'm at work and actually doing stuff. WTAF?!?!

UGH, WORK! >:(

OMG it's true. OMG it's true and Panic broke up and Panic isn't a band anymore and OMG, you guys I can't cry about Panic at the fucking Disco at work! ;__;

meme from cidercupcakes

Inspired by Doctor Who's "Turn Left:" Pick one of my stories (which can all be found here) and tell me a point in the tale that you'd change. Something tiny (e.g. "and then Ray used rope to tie Robbie up") or big (e.g. "and then Brendon ran away from the Compound with Patrick") and I'll tell you how that one difference would have altered the course of the entire story.

:D?

So yesterday, after a grueling day of waking up late, dicking around on the internet, watching Mulan, napping, watching a couple episodes of Criminal Minds and napping again, me and angelsaves went to impertinence's to booze up with her and some others to celebrate the 4th. We got tipsy and talked about rural vs. urban poverty and racism. Because that's how we all roll.

On the way home, angelsaves and I were on the Red Line and some dudes started arguing. Like this one dude was dressed like Huggybear and smoking weed and some guy and his girlfriend were all "Will you put that out? There's a kid on the train!" And they kept arguing back and forth and I turned to Abby and was all "what do we do if they really start fighting?" and she was all "get the fuck off the train."

And then they started throwing punches and me and Abby got the fuck off the train along with a bunch of other people. It was kind of hilarious even while being a bit scary. So then they kick him off and we got back on and got home.

Then this morning I woke up and decided I was gonna be Abby's 1950's housewife. We have all these vegetables and I figured we should use them so I made beets with goat cheese in vinagrette, zucchini and kale chips. Then I used the blueberries we'd bought to make a pie. All in all, it was pretty om nom nom

( pics of our delicious food )

Now we're watching Leverage. So far I really, really like it.

Okay, so my question here is

1) Who is going to see TAI and GCH @ Six Flags with me on the freaking 31st?
2) Who is coming with me to see Lupe motherfucking FIASCO in St. Louis for FREE the following day? (omg so much driving!)

I'm thinking we need shenanigans or something. Anyone? Bueller? :D?

I'm so disgusted with so much of fandom I can't even express it properly. Why do YOU think a group of fucking WOMEN might want to be more conscientious about survivors of sexual assault? DO you think maybe it's the ridiculous numbers with regards to women and sexual assault? Is it maybe because 1 in 4 women will experience some form of sexual assault in her lifetime? Is it because the vast majority of rapes aren't reported because we're made to feel shame about them? Is it because the culture we live in apologizes for rape all while making it easier and more acceptable for rapists to go free/continuing raping?

Do you think there is a REASON why I'm so disgusted that other WOMEN think their fanfiction is somehow more important than the mental health and well-being of their fellow fandomer?

What is wrong with them?

Context
wistfuljane the background
impertinence Warning: Very explicit discussion of sexual assault and the nature, anatomy, cause & effect of triggers. Is itself triggery.
untappedbeauty on warnings and analogies
iamtheenemy Common Sense
ficbyzee more common sense

So I swear I'm going to answer comments and feedback, seriously, I swear. Not right now, because I'm going downtown to figure out where it is I have to show up for work tomorrow. (I feel so fancy, I'm getting on a train and going downtown! It's so... idk, chi-chi)

Anyway, I was going to answer some comments and was wondering if I even should. Like me and Rio being ridic about the Animorphs crossover, do you still want to talk about that or has the moment passed? (ugh wtf kind of question is that?)

Lastly, if you IMed me last night and your AIM name is itssubjunctive, I'm very sorry for like, not answering and then passing out on you. IDK who you are but I would in fact very much enjoy seeing that Morgana/Uther fanvid to I Want Blood. ♥

The weather is rly nice today. Like REALLY nice.

So I'm in Indianapolis, at Orientation for my new job (this is my last night, lol latest). I kind of expected to hate this whole thing, because I hate meeting and talking to strangers and I always feel so weird and awkward (also my t-shirt the 1st day hadn't been dried properly so once I began to sweat I smelled :( ). But it's actually been really awesome.

Talking about poverty as a systemic problem and NOT a personal failure is just something I can't agree with enough. (I remember when I was unemployed and couldn't find work, people used to tell me I wasn't trying hard enough, that I needed to "get up really early, like 6 AM and go out to find work". And I couldn't help but thinking "dude, you HAVE to hook me up with all these jobs that are just laying around, waiting for you to show up and claim them where the only requirements is to show up at 6 AM and not 6:10 or 6:30 or 7 AM!" It's not helpful, it's not useful and though it is in no way close to the kind of staggeringly unhelpful and shaming behavior that those in poverty face, it fucking sucks.) So I'm so glad that we're so focused on addressing ways the system is failing people and how we can help them fix it for themselves so that even when we leave, they'll still be able to keep it fixed.

There's a LOT of Vistas that are serving in Michigan and we talked about the new face of poverty and the increasing numbers of people in that area that are unemployed and rapidly using everything (and about situational vs. generational poverty). And just in general, it's been really fucking awesome.

My only wish is that there were more Vistas from Chicago in my smaller group. I talked with the two people in my group who are from Chicago because they're going to be working in homeless education and seeing as my job is to find ways to help Columbia College students volunteer in their communities, it makes sense that I have potential places where they might be able to help out. Being able to make connections like that would have been awesome because even though I've been kicking it with people during breaks and at meals and stuff, it's not like I can just see people are from Chicago and go talk to them. That is my one wish.

Blahblahblah, all this talk about working to eliminate poverty is making me all gung-ho about making a difference in life and shit and I feel like I'm going to be super successful (let's see how long this lasts)

Some people think I love riorhapsody because she's the most amazing person ever or because she loves everything I do just as hard as I do and always talks about them with me. They'd be right but ANOTHER reason why ILALLriorhapsodys is because after I tell her about some ridiculous Jon/Tom Pern AU idea I had she will IM me with this:

[23:48] riorhapsody: somehow, you telling me all about that series made me want an animorphs au
[23:48] just_katarin: lol rly?
[23:48] just_katarin: Jon and Tom fighting the Yeerks?( Nick, De'Mar, Jon, Tom, Butcher, Siska, Bill and Travis fighting Yeerks, because that's how we roll )

The sad part is that I doubt any of you are surprised by this. lol my life /o\

SO you know how this morning I was bitching about how I have no privacy at home and won't until the 1st of July?

IT IS AS IF THE GODS HAVE HEARD ME AND HAVE ANSWERED MY SADNESS!

Dude, I am BY MYSELF in this swanky ass hotel room in Indianapolis. Idk if my potential roommate might still show up tonight (it seems unlikely) but I am declaring it NAKED BUBBLE BATH TIME.

BRB enjoying my bubble bath!

Idk why it feels like ass o'clock but I'm all blinky sleepy. I'm about to leave for the airport because I'm going to Indianapolis for orientation and thought to myself "oh hey! I should maybe tell my flist I made it to Chicago!"

SO hey! I made it to Chicago and am settling in. It's pretty cool, the other day it was nice out so me and Abby went north to visit impertinence and then we walked to the lake. I'm currently living in the living room and apparently will until the 1st which sucks but what're you gonna do? Luckily I don't start work until the 23rd so I won't be having to do too much getting ready for work in the current situation.

I'm so behind on reading BBB. Like I'm embarassed at how few I've read. I'm reading foxxcub's right now and that's going pretty good but the only other one I read was Gale's (which was actually pretty well written but I was too angy that the Bill/Travis never appeared to appreciate it fully). I will go in and answer comments on my bigbang, guys, I promise. I'm glad you're all enjoying it.

That is pretty much all I have to contribute. I'm not sure how much internet access I'm going to have in Indianapolis and don't expect I'll be on too much during the day in general, what with Orientation and Training shit. I'm hoping it's going to be good. I'm not usually all that good with strangers and this is going to be nothing but wall-to-wall strangers but I will persevere!

Master Post | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Bonus Tracks/Enhanced Content

Fanart by speep

( Nick threw up, it was seriously gross. And I messed up my hand. )

This is so gorgeous. Tom pointing at his hand! Nick's :D? face and hipster scarf. Jon Walker's PAWPRINT HOODIE! I love it so much I nearly hurt myself airpunching the moment I saw it.


Fanmix by greenet

( Fanmix )

I'm so touched she mixed for me and even put in a couple of tracks for Nick! I think it fits a lot of the themes of the fic really well and every time I listen to the 2nd Nick song I laugh at how Nick that is.

Master Post | Part 1 | Part 2 | Bonus Tracks/Enhanced Conten

Master Post | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Bonus Tracks/Enhanced Content

( 'He just said he was going to see you later, man,' Nick says. He’s leaning back against the steps, pale and sweaty. 'No need to look like he’s going off to war or something.' )

Bonus Tracks/Enhanced Content